Slowness doesn't always have to be wrong. On the contrary!
Every time we go shopping, run an errand, take a walk, go out and pick berries or mushrooms, we have to make sure that someone looks after Doris. Either we bring her or one of her brothers is home. It's part of our everyday life and it's been that way for as long as we've had children. It might not be so strange but our youngest son is 12 and our oldest who is 19. In between is the 15 year old who has Down syndrome who over the years has always needed someone to keep an eye on her. But today it looks a little different than before.
Back then, when she was little, it applied everywhere and always. No environments were directly safe. It took time, but she got bigger and when she started walking at the age of three and a half, she started walking on her own. She simply stung. Not to escape, but rather because her "just now" was there, she was in the actual present, no way back, no hesitation and far ahead the great adventure awaited. She was going there, of course. She burned all the little energy she had rushing away as silently as a weasel. In addition, she was tiny and had a small weak voice.
We worked hard to get her to answer out loud: "Here I am"! But considering how much noise there is, for example, in a department store, it was impossible to hear her. This was quite a big problem for several years and Doris's father and I kept a close eye on her all the time and reacted in a flash if she went missing. Thankfully, nothing major ever happened, but this was a problem that few around us understood and so it became too difficult and difficult to leave her to someone else. The ability to assess the situation and stop the accident in time required us to be constantly on the lookout. Even her brothers have developed this super radar and sensitivity. So basically we have relied more on her brothers than on other adults. Think about it!
As much as we have tried not to exploit the boys, it has sometimes been unavoidable and the fantastic effort they have made cannot be described in words. Certainly! It may be a matter of course when you are siblings, but not something you can take for granted. Over the years we have preferred to stay at home rather than go away. At home we knew exactly where the risks were and we always knew where Doris was. Our friends were simply allowed to come to us and it has in many ways been a good fit because we partly like having people in the house and partly because we like to cook together. This constant attention is so obvious and only a couple of years ago we could sit at the front of the house while Doris was at the back and then we still have a plot that is difficult to get out of - even for the most athletic. We are talking stone fence and electric fence for the block next door. How we enjoyed this new sense of freedom! We often said that to each other that summer. She has grown.
Doris has a bicycle. A handsome three-wheeler that has a practical basket in the back so you can load a little picnic in. There is also a long handle that you can remove, but we haven't had any reason to do that before. The handle has been used both to push, hold against and not least to keep the cycling crew on the road. Since both her vision and balance are not advanced, the bicycle project has meant quite a lot of hard work for us adults (we live on the edge of Hallandsåsen). Firstly, she has not had enough strength to pedal her way up the hill and secondly, she has had problems determining where the line between road and ditch is. Then all of a sudden the day came when it just worked. She and I were going out to pick blueberries the other day and for some reason she pedaled herself and safely rode out with the edge of the road and I could walk next to instead of behind, pushing, and Doris managed herself. Take what sudden and unexpected freedom. Think, we have never experienced this before! She has grown!
Time goes so much slower with Doris and the beauty of the slowness is that we have time to notice differences in a completely different way than you would normally do and we have time to enjoy the development even if sometimes it feels as if time stands still and we know that adaptation takes time. What a favor indeed!
Usually there is so much that just flies by and needs to be caught up. Children grow quickly and sometimes it feels like all those necessary developmental steps should just be chopped off and then quickly rushed on to the next step. Surprise! so suddenly the kids are big and we barely noticed.
In the our world it's not really like that, but we wait and practice and it has to be like that until the time is right and in our world there is no chance that we would risk her or anyone else's safety just to push forward development. No, we wait and practice and enjoy finding out: Think! We have never experienced this before. Doris has grown.